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If I Had a Nickel…
Oct. 17th, 2010 10:56 amIf I had a nickel for every time something like this happened to me, I could buy a large frothy cup of coffee from a trendy coffee chain. If I had $1000 for every time such a thing ended well...I would still not be rich.
Saturday night, as I was fleeing the cold of my weekly LARP (yes, I write and play games), Theresa asked if she could pick my "writer's brain" sometime. I said, sure, sometime in November when I wasn't on such a tight deadline. One of the new guys to the LARP was sitting there and he suddenly realized I was "that writer." (I'm the person every new player who also writes is recommended to as being a "real writer.")
The conversation went something like this:
Him: Oh. Oh!
Me: *smiles and understands he's realized who I am*
Him: I need your email. You have email, right?
Me: Well, yes. Why? Everything depends on my schedule.
Theresa: Which is why I asked to talk when your schedule was less tight.
Me: Yeah. November, probably. *pause* (to Him) If you have any particular questions...
Him: Oh, no. No particular questions. I just want you to read my shit (sic).
Me: Ah. Well, to that I say...$35 an hour. Two hours minimum. Half upfront.
Him: ?? (He had the best WTF? face.)
Me: I am a fulltime freelancer. Writing is what I do. You wouldn't ask a doctor to diagnose you for free, would you? This is my livelihood.
Him: Huh. Makes sense.
Me: I cannot do it for free. I just don't have the time. If I did read others' stuff just because, I'd end up spending all my time on that and not on my paid work. So, if you're serious...that's my consulting fee.
Then I left. Literally more than a dozen people just from the LARP group alone have asked me to read their stuff. If I said yes to one, I would have at least a dozen more asking me why I didn't read their story for a critique. I have had everyone from my hairdresser to my banker to a stranger at Kinko's ask me to read their stuff. All I can do is say "No." Then, recommend workshops, writing retreats, online resourses and the like.
The new player seemed very thoughtful. Like he'd never thought of asking someone to read his stuff being something that would cut into my working day. It is a good day when such a conversation ends without the other person being offended at me. To date, not one person has taken me up on my professional consulting offer. I guess I'm not really that surprised.
Saturday night, as I was fleeing the cold of my weekly LARP (yes, I write and play games), Theresa asked if she could pick my "writer's brain" sometime. I said, sure, sometime in November when I wasn't on such a tight deadline. One of the new guys to the LARP was sitting there and he suddenly realized I was "that writer." (I'm the person every new player who also writes is recommended to as being a "real writer.")
The conversation went something like this:
Him: Oh. Oh!
Me: *smiles and understands he's realized who I am*
Him: I need your email. You have email, right?
Me: Well, yes. Why? Everything depends on my schedule.
Theresa: Which is why I asked to talk when your schedule was less tight.
Me: Yeah. November, probably. *pause* (to Him) If you have any particular questions...
Him: Oh, no. No particular questions. I just want you to read my shit (sic).
Me: Ah. Well, to that I say...$35 an hour. Two hours minimum. Half upfront.
Him: ?? (He had the best WTF? face.)
Me: I am a fulltime freelancer. Writing is what I do. You wouldn't ask a doctor to diagnose you for free, would you? This is my livelihood.
Him: Huh. Makes sense.
Me: I cannot do it for free. I just don't have the time. If I did read others' stuff just because, I'd end up spending all my time on that and not on my paid work. So, if you're serious...that's my consulting fee.
Then I left. Literally more than a dozen people just from the LARP group alone have asked me to read their stuff. If I said yes to one, I would have at least a dozen more asking me why I didn't read their story for a critique. I have had everyone from my hairdresser to my banker to a stranger at Kinko's ask me to read their stuff. All I can do is say "No." Then, recommend workshops, writing retreats, online resourses and the like.
The new player seemed very thoughtful. Like he'd never thought of asking someone to read his stuff being something that would cut into my working day. It is a good day when such a conversation ends without the other person being offended at me. To date, not one person has taken me up on my professional consulting offer. I guess I'm not really that surprised.